I have spent much of the day sleeping. In the evening, I chatted with my Mom. Susheela is recovering slowly, one step at a time. I feel each day I have run a marathon. Since I haven’t really had a fever in two decades, it’s hard for me to understand this fatigue. It’s unlike anything I have ever experienced.
I have always believed that family is not just the one we are born into, but also the family we build over the years. Relationships of all colors, hues, and shades are important. These last 9 days have shown me who my truest friends are. I want to use this post to celebrate each of you and thank you for the care and generosity you have shown me:
Dave, Karen, Poodle, Birdy, Boy, Tanu, AG, Jai, Raghu, Veena, Voozy, Nilom, Pari, Suzanne, Debbie & Pat, Murali, CSD, Restless, Shrusthi, Deepika, Usha, Prasanna, Sheetal, Chandan, D, Arka, Naman, Sheba, Tee, Anita, Seema, Gayetri, Anukrti, Amandeep, Ashok, Debanjana, Sailu.
Phew. I see this list, and I feel how blessed I am. I hope I haven’t missed any names, but if I have, attribute it to my current brain fog and not to lack of gratitude.
And, I want to send some food to this boy, who is feeling “weak.” How how how do I do this?
He wrote one of the most beautiful comments to another blog post, and it gave me hope and light. Chandan, yes, I understand “Sisu.” I will endure. And not just endure but thrive. I am hanging in there because your words made a difference, Chandan. I never thought I have much positivity in life – look to our friends Poodle and Birdy who are better in carrying hope – but I am glad that you come here to my blog. I wish I could come over and feed you until you drop. Thank you for these kind words. I paste them here because Sisu is for all of us during these times. You are my newest friend. Much light to you and all of you.
All my love,
I just read all of your daily posts from this past week and I must say, I was seriously taken aback for a moment. My whole heart, thoughts, and prayers go to you and everyone going through this turmoil. So much has happened in these few days that it’s hard to put things into perspective. All our lives have been upended and it feels like the concept of time has lost its meaning. Just thinking about these past 15 days or so, every minute feels like a year in itself. Several people in my own familiar circle have been affected as well. Although I have gone through a frenzy of article reading on every aspect of this pandemic, just like the last year, I cannot help but keep asking to myself – ‘What is happening? Why is it happening again? How did we get here?’ despite knowing much of the reasons.
I have been a silent reader of your blog for quite sometime. Though I have not been much active on WordPress recently but something nudged me to open the app last night and there was your post. Smitha, I admire your positivity and outlook towards life and your words have been a place of solace and wisdom in the times of dire need. I can hardly fathom the terrifying emotions one must feel when they find out their loved one being infected or the helplessness of seeing them suffer and not being able to do much about it. But hang in there. You are a strong pillar of support for your family, your love and care would not go in vain.
Personally, I am stuck here in a PG in Bangalore, staying alone inside a small dorm the whole day. I cannot cook here and not having access to proper food is making me a little weak. I had booked my tickets for home sometime back but considering the situation outside, it would hardly be prudent to make this long journey. I had to defer my plans for higher studies last year due to Covid-19. This year, I mustered up the strength to go through the hectic procedures but the events that have unravelled this month has shrouded it in uncertainty once again. Nonetheless, I am trying to keep an optimistic mindset.
There is a sense of peace inside this bubble in contrast to the chaos I see and hear about. As an introvert, I did not have much complaint of the containment last year, although this time it feels a little harder to sustain. And you are so right about such experiences heightening your senses. You start perceiving every little thing, every little being around you and cannot help but marvel at how wonderful the arrangement of this nature is. I had brought a flower pot in the beginning of this month which I named ‘Sisu’, a Finnish word that represents extraordinary endurance in the face of adversities. Here’s a photo – https://photos.app.goo.gl/nFmgaU1WYuW1HFGr7
Tending to it has been therapeutic. Even in this tough time, you are extending your support to people but I hope my few words gives a sense of support to you. We are all in this fight together and soon our courage will triumph. Stay safe and take care!