Then And Now


The more I drink of Time, the more I feel thirsty.  Last year, on 9 June, I was wandering in a village in Spain. I was alone, yet I was with others. I was 40 that day, yet I felt I hadn’t been born at all. Last year, I walked and walked on that day. […]

June 10, 2020

Moments Of Grace: To Fly


I have been staying with my parents ever since India’s lockdown began after the Kannada New Year of Ugadi. Unlike my little apartment, theirs is a sprawling two-story house with a marvelous terrace.  During these last few weeks, that terrace has been a solace for me on sultry evenings. I escape there after a day […]

May 13, 2020

The Fear Of Abandonment


A good friend of mine messaged me yesterday. “How are you managing the space inside your head? These ghosts are coming to the party. Mine, at the moment, is the fear of abandonment.” Since I don’t want to paste his message word by word, I will paraphrase the rest of it. He spoke about how […]

April 23, 2020

Finding The Tent


Nine years ago, I was backpacking in China. In the middle of the Taklamakan desert with two good friends. We had journeyed across the heart of Xinjiang Province for days together. It was summer, and although we had seen snow in the morning in Kashgar, just a few hours later, we were in the middle […]

April 9, 2020

A Poem For Our Times


A friend wrote to me saying that he is feeling ‘fear at all levels’ I had no advice for him. What can I say? But I can say this. Fear is just doing its job of protecting us. Beyond that protection, there’s faith. What fear can’t do, faith can. I don’t necessarily think of this […]

March 24, 2020

Making Our Peace


In 2003, my friend and I landed in Beijing on a teaching assignment in the middle of the SARS epidemic. With no real Internet and no smartphones, we arrived innocent, naive, and trusting of the world. We giggled at somber-looking Beijingers with their masks. We wore no masks and took no precautions as we stayed […]

March 20, 2020

No Feeling Is Final


I had just finished watching ‘Jojo Rabbit,’ on the recommendation of Mr. Top Of The Morning. (Thank you, Mr. TOTM! And that’s an amazing movie – a bittersweet blend of satire, drama, and beauty that made me laugh and cry). I was about to switch off the TV before the credits rolled when this quote […]

February 27, 2020

This Kid Needs A Name Too


My family tells me that I was born with a twin. A baby boy. He didn’t live longer than 18 days, and he was never named. During the rare times we spoke about this, my Mom would tease me that it was I who had contributed to the little baby’s death. Apparently, I took most […]

February 6, 2020

The Word Of 2019: Busy


The other day, the Dog Mamma was asking me about my word for 2020. I misread her message and thought she was asking me about 2019. “Busy. That’s my word,” I said. “Ya. I want to be busy, too,” she replied. I was horrified. That’s not what I meant. Not at all.  Busy was the […]

January 2, 2020