As I had promised myself, I did indeed try to keep tabs on myself, literally. And it was so difficult. We spend so much of our time in self-absorption that we can rarely pull ourselves out enough to contemplate self-awareness.
There were moments in the day when I had to FORCE myself to be consciously aware. And to re-think my actions before I do them. It helped. For a second in the evening, I was irritable and on the verge of shouting at Birdie – but this new awareness made me realize what I was doing even while I was doing it…and I could stop myself.
The stranger thing was that I thought all I had to was to observe my moods at various points during the day. But the minute I was aware that I was going to observe my mood – I could influence my mood merely with that awareness. I was rarely irritable – and was calmer, and happier.
My end result at the end of today – awareness is not merely an observation tool but a mood influencer. I wish now to delve deeper into this awareness- it is fascinating. It’s like watching pieces of my self floating down to surrender under a 1000 eyes that fix their gaze to the sky.