This is what vulnerability can look like.
I don’t have much of a social media presence. I keep my Instagram fiercely private. FB is deactivated, and I use Goodreads only to mark my book reading. LinkedIn is the only social media network I use regularly. And posting a photo of myself online takes all my courage. There’s a reason behind this.
Growing up, I struggled with my body image. As a kid, I wore glasses and was called soda buddi. The minute I turned 21, I underwent Lasik eye surgery – one which came with many risks at that time, but I didn’t care. Anything to remove those glasses.
I felt I was short compared to my sister and told I was too thin. I was given appetite stimulants in my teens, and when I put on the weight, I was told that I was now chubby. You are never enough, just the way you are.
I was always too thin, or too fat, or had a stomach, or looked like a scarecrow.👩🏻
Comments about my body dogged me all my life. I became shy about posing for photos. My family told me I looked like my grandmother when I smiled because my teeth weren’t seen. I thought that meant I looked old, so I stopped smiling. I spent a year wearing braces for a smile I could be comfortable with. I felt gawky no matter the clothes I wore, the hairstyle, or my makeup.
It took all of last year and this one to change how I look at myself. 14 sessions of therapy, 40+ mental health books, and 30+ podcasts later, here I am.
👩🏻This is what healing looks like.
And I write about this because I know there are many silent voices who hate their own bodies. These days, after a run, I thank my lungs and heart. After a long day at work, I thank my back for supporting me. I collect laugh lines and still wish I had more hair on my head. 🙂
I am not there yet – I have to keep rewiring my brain that I work out so that I feel better, not to “lose flab.”
People’s judgments weigh you down (Yes, you can ignore them, but that’s easy to say). I wish we would stop commenting on people’s appearance: Oh, you have put on weight/lost weight!” and replace that with “I love the happiness you show in this picture.” I wish we could stop saying, “You look beautiful/gorgeous” with “You look kind/confident.”
Appreciate qualities in people, not how they look. 🙂
Do you feel comfortable posting photos of yourself? Do you have a good relationship with your body?
HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK FROM ANOTHER WOMAN WHO HAD SPELLED HIM
I want to thank Priest Alaska for what he has done for me and my family. I was going through a terrible situation. The problem started when my husband came home from work and I noticed his personality had changed. A few months later, he told me he was no longer interested in marriage. I love my husband very much, but all my efforts to win him back were in vain. I had come to the conclusion that my husband would never return. However, I saw comments online about Priest Alaska and how he had helped others in various ways. So, my hope of getting my husband back increased, and I contacted him to tell him about my problem. He told me it was nothing serious, to relax, and that in 48 hours my husband would come home on his own. I never believed Priest Alaska because I had heard about spiritual powers, but I didn’t believe they worked. To my great surprise, I saw my husband through the window and ran out to meet him. He was crying, saying he didn’t know what had happened to him after seeing another woman outside of our marriage. I was so happy, and I promise to tell everyone about the great and powerful Alaska Spellcaster Priest, who brought joy back into my life. Here is the Priest’s contact information: WhatsApp: +233 59 274 5728 Email: alaskaspellcaster44@gmail.com
Dave here. I always thought you looked great. I still do. In fact, I have always been in awe of your athleticism. Here’s one for you about me. As a skinny 25 year old guy, I met up with a former Mr. Philadelhia body building champion in the gym. We became friends and he began to coach me to build the bulging muscles I had always wanted. After a year of weight training 2 or 3 times a week, he evaluated my progress with these words: “Sorry, Dave, but you just have no genetic potential for big muscles.” You can tell his words have stuck with me, even now, 54 years later. In a way they are now comforting. I’m now a portly 78 and not too worried about it knowing that I would never be the guy strutting around the beach showing off his build.
Wow. That’s some story, Dave. It’s funny how others see us and how you see yourself – such a vast difference.
I once again get the feeling that we lived very similar childhoods.
I’m so glad we both have healed.
One of the reasons I stopped exercising for a bit was to see if I liked myself, inspite of the flab.
And yes. I too wish appearances would not be a topic of conversation. Its not a kind world – this world that we live in. 😞
Healing, I feel, is never-ending, Poodle. Always something going on 😀
Well even I have underwent the same,infact even now. I am skinny . I wear glasses. I am short. I did go through the feeling of being neglected and felt less. Over the years ,I have started ignoring it . Infact whenever a comment is passed on my body I take it as a compliment and feel grateful for what I am. You are totally right that the society should stop looking at how you look rather appreciate the qualities.
By the way I liked your haircut!
You are here. And that matters. 🙂 To all of us. With your beautiful, beautiful soul.