And I say to any man or woman, Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes.
Do I contradict myself?
Very well then, I contradict myself.
I am large,
I contain multitudes.
From Song of Myself, 51, from Leaves of Grass – Walt Whitman.
This line written 165 years ago is still just as relevant now. Perhaps, even more so now.
Hello Mumbai Reader Who Could Be From Chennai,
I addressed you in one of my previous posts. Sadly, that seemed to have escaped your attention. Hopefully, this won’t.
So, here I am, looking at my Google Analytics and realizing that 30% of all traffic and pageviews come from Mumbai. By itself, it’s ok. But most of the traffic started from November-end and show a curious pattern that most of my other readers don’t.
You have a keen interest in posts from 2016 or 2017. You seem to have a lot of time to browse. Is my content so interesting, I wondered. I looked closer and saw that much of your interest also lies in events and consequences that happened in my life after May 2017. You repeatedly come back to those posts. Those posts are now hidden or behind a password. But you especially have a keen interest when I mention anything about a certain person sitting in Chennai, and their beloved Thala, whose radiance, I believe, led to the SpaceX rocket splitting into two. Thala just turned his eyes to the sky, and that was enough for the rocket to burst into flames.
So, I ask you again, because of this peculiar pattern of browsing that can only point to one person, who are you?
If you are a harmless wanderer who happens to be, by sheer unbelievable coincidence, showing a lot of interest in old posts that no one on my site is interested in, then connect with me by email at smitha9ATgmail.com or on LinkedIn or even the comments section here and let me know, please. It will give me peace.
Or are you really that Chennai Thalini masquerading for some reason as a visitor from Mumbai?
Why keep visiting my site? *insert utterly baffled and puzzled expression.
I am not sure what you want so much from my site if you are that. Are you scared I would doxx you or that ray of ‘sun’beam, lit up on a cloud?
Are these visits out of true remorse? I can hear that. I am open to listening. To love. To compassion. To a different narrative.
But if that is not what you want, but instead, you are content with this passive consuming of my content, this is what I would have to do. I can only make this a private site then, allowing access only to those who register, but that would deprive hundreds of other readers. It would deny me a place to talk about my meaning in life, MyndStories. It wouldn’t give me space for my portfolio.
So, what do I do? I don’t like someone sneaking in on my site when they haven’t had the grace or empathy, or remorse to reach out to me or my friends. Nah, nah, we aren’t talking of sophisticated emails where I am blocked before I can respond. Let us not be coy jackasses, but compassionate canines, I say.
My beautiful friends teach me forgiveness, and I am willing to consider that always, but I can’t condone cowardice and sneakery, and misogyny. My conditions were clear: I will never allow those in my life who support misogyny, and not even a worm who supports that Thala will be in my life. Ugh. My skin crawls thinking of that checked-shirt boor.
My heart is not a closed place. It never is.
And I don’t want to make this website a closed space, because why should others suffer?
So, I hope the Mumbai visitor will show grace – let me know if I am wrong about who you are. (I could be entirely wrong and making a fool of myself. But it’s ok, I would rather be a fool than be fooled)
And if you are the Chennai Thalini, but don’t have the grace to change this story to new beginnings, then stop reading this site. Now and forever. But if you are a changed Thalini without Checked-Shirt Cool Thala, who really wants to make amends? That person is welcome. This site will remain open then.