The Emptiness


Mental Health, Musings

Last year, if it were a Sunday, you would have found me running 20 or 30 km. You would have then found me here, telling you about that experience. The crisp morning air, the air beneath my feet, the air in my lungs. Breath like air. Life like air. The feeling that for once, just […]

November 17, 2024

The generosity of a window


Musings

“And what is more generous than a window?” My workstation is next to a window. When buying this apartment, I paid extra for a room with a view. I didn’t want to live in a space where I see walls everywhere. (Yes, privilege) I sit with two plants in front of me – black ZZ […]

August 12, 2024

Blessings And Angels


Musings

Let me tell you a story… I go for a walk every evening. I stay in an apartment surrounded by lush gardens and huge trees—walking here is a delight. I see an assortment of people on my walk. The old couple who always walks hand in hand. Screaming kids. Weary mothers. The fast walker who […]

April 18, 2024

Writing: Loss And Its Layers


Musings, Writing

Here’s a story for you. Sometime in 2020, I had a meeting by the beach in Chennai with one woman who I thought was a friend but never was. It was a weird, discombobulated meeting, one of skirting around edges, and one where I returned feeling I hadn’t said anything I wanted to. I tried […]

April 13, 2024

Who We Are When We Love


Musings

Sometimes love is just this. I have gone through about 2 years now of seeing the greatest love of my life, my mother, in pain. Relentless, unremitting pain. I have seen someone who makes me laugh with her curiosity, who taught me to see the world, to embrace the world with wide-eyed wonder, under house […]

April 11, 2024

The Last Run


Musings, Running

It was about 9:45 am. The weather in Mumbai had been pleasant until 9 am. But now, the sun was out. Anyone who has run a marathon will tell you that the last 5 km are the most excruciating. That is when your mind plays tricks. It colludes with a broken body. It whispers that […]

February 7, 2024

In Grace We Are


Mental Health, Musings

It’s early Sunday morning. One of our clients wants to “talk.” I am nervous. We had a bit of an uncomfortable discussion around payment on Friday. I call them.  She picks up. “I want to say that we are truly sorry. We allowed our biases to creep in. We talk so much about biases, but […]

February 4, 2024

To Choose To Live


Featured, Musings

Let me tell you a story. A travel story. In 2003, I was teaching Spoken English in a tiny city called Lianyungang, China.  It was the first time I was in a foreign country. Living by myself. Teaching a language I wasn’t confident speaking. And had narrowly escaped the confines of a Chinese prison. (A story […]

January 25, 2024

The Start Is Just As Important


Musings, Running

My left knee throbs as I write this. It reminds me of its existence, a sudden flare-up of a pain I have been managing for 1.5 months now. Pointed stars of pain. I am used to it, but the thing about pain is that it always hurts. In 3 days, I will run my first […]

January 17, 2024